


boy blue

by princelouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blindness, Blow Jobs, Crying, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Past Zayn/Louis, Top Louis, braiding h's hair, crying (sort of) during sex, meaning of beauty, painting nails, so much love it hurts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-05-09 16:47:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5547887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princelouis/pseuds/princelouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“When I close my eyes, I see a gentle light. I have no concept of the color. Losing my sight has been a blessing because beauty is experience.”</p><p> </p><p>Or where Harry and Louis meet at the Apple customer service bar. Harry might not be able to see Louis, but knows he is beautiful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Woah, hello. New here, hopefully you like it! Really got inspired recently by a video which I will link (if it will work). Bear with me, it will get better I promise!!!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlcx_q8u_YI
> 
> Thank you!

Winter break had arrived and snuck up on Louis. London was crowded and freezing especially during Christmas time. Somehow they kept spirits high with sparkling lights and pricey gifts leaving anyone in awe. There had also been a guilt of spending an abundant amount of time clubbing than he had calling or buying gifts for his family, which also crept up on him. The past year had been quite generous to Louis, giving him a brand new job as an editor for a huge New York magazine. It was everything he dreamed of, an added bonus being that his boss was Nick Grimshaw and that he absolutely loved clubbing. Like, he truly enjoyed getting fucked up with his mates and leaving the mystery of the night before on his card. Louis never complained and accepted the free champagne and cute boys that made eyes with him.

Although it was all great, it wasn’t his home. London meant his family. It was similar yet so unlike New York, with his corporate office and tight ties that gently choked him. The holidays were his favorite time to kick his feet up, cuddle with his sisters, eat his mums home cooked meals, and _even_ jerk off without a roommate sleeping in the bed next to him.

He had bought gifts for his mum, and all of his sisters except Lottie. She was fairly grown up now and he couldn’t half ass his gifts for her any longer. He bought Fiz concert tickets and thought he could use some of his well saved paycheck to buy Lottie a nice phone. They were expensive and knew Lottie hasn’t upgraded in years. There comes a price with shopping so close to Christmas though, and that is a long ass wait at the Apple Genius Bar.

He had been arguing with the young man in glasses and blue t-shirt behind the desk for twenty minutes about some issue with his plan and monthly fee. An easy experience here was not expected, but definitely impossible for Louis. He could tell the line behind him was becoming agitated with grunts and frustrated muttered conversations.

He wanted to go home as much as the next guy.

He was tired of hearing himself rant about just wanting to buy the damn phone. He didn’t know it would be this much of a frenzy. “Sir, this is our busiest day of the year. We’re sorry for the inconvenience but here is a number to call to schedule another appointment and all the information of yours, along with a money back guarantee.” A shy voice, trembling with the hope not to be yelled at in front of a crowd, again.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Louis muttered under his breath. He spit a, “thanks for your time,” sarcastically. His hand pushed the long fringe on his forehead towards his ears quickly, obviously stressed out.

Unhappy with the fact he will have to have a conversation on the phone pushes him beyond frustration. “Can you believe this? Look at this, can you read this for me? I’ve forgotten my glasses.”  
With talking out loud, he had momentarily forgotten he asked the stranger a question. He was about to quickly apologize when a boy with curly hair and large black sunglasses that covered his eyes, spoke. Tattoos settled on arms and wrists, telling a story he hadn’t read yet. He reminded Louis of a blue sky while setting, spread across a canvas with multiple colors streaked across, creating a masterpiece.

“I’m sorry, I can’t read that for you.”

After staring for a quick moment, a face he could barely even see struck him so hard, he _giggled._

“Yeah, neither can I.”

The boy laughed with a raspy voice and Louis wondered why he looked right at him. “Next in line please.” The man with glasses and blue t-shirt exclaimed loud enough to ring throughout the store, while Louis kept his eyes on tattooed curly.

“Is that me?” Curly spoke again, except this time it was genuine concern with confusion knitted in his brows. Louis was confused by the joke, so he didn’t laugh this time. Except this time he realized it wasn’t a joke. Nothing about their entire conversation was funny, Louis was just an unobservant ignorant asshole.

“U-Uh yeah, yeah that’s you. I’m so sorry I didn’t even realize-.” He looked down briefly to see the curly headed boy gripping a white cane with three stripes around it. His mouth was only able to form an ‘O’ shape, watching him make his way towards the front. “It’s okay, thank you for helping.” He held a hand up to signify a goodbye, but it wasn’t directed specifically to Louis.

His stomach caved in itself and sank to his knees. He felt absolutely gutted and ripped to shreds. He was an awful human being after not only being quite rude to the Apple employee but now a stranger who was totally polite and _blind._

He somehow made it to a bench outside the store without melting to the ground and becoming one with the cement. He held his cheeks in his hands for a few minutes until they felt numb whilst going over his new rash decision.

He thought, he could catch the boy while leaving and possibly say a few words. Maybe it would make himself feel better to sincerely apologize to him. Silently, he also thought it wouldn’t hurt to look at him for a minute or two.

That seemed to take the hurt away too.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finishes what he started, or at least tries to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments. I'm so excited to continue writing this story, it's the most inspired I have felt in a while :) Hope you enjoy!

Louis had stuck around for longer than he’d care to admit. The air surrounding him became nippier and bit into his skin, leaving it pink and flushed. If he had known it would take this long, he might have left ten minutes ago, to beat traffic. 

He guessed that spending thirty minutes behind the wheel is a bit of karma for being a shitty person.

He sent a text to his mother, apologizing for his tardiness and would tell when he was on his way. He honestly did not know how much he longer it would take, or how much longer he _would_ stay. He was already pushing boundaries here, so he thought why not go completely out of his comfort zone. Strangers and an awkward conversation was definitely not on his list of ‘most looked forward to' things. 

He hadn’t planned what he would even say or how to apologize. “I’m sorry that I’m a dick and you are so handsome it hurts, have a nice day?” His mind was clouded and heavy with questions that he wanted answers to, and could only get if he stayed. 

So he did.

Shortly after his silent intervening with himself, Louis finally saw the curly haired boy again. Louis only noticed because his exit wasn’t exactly graceful and caused other passerby to stare. He quickly stood, almost tripping over his own feet to hold the door open for him. Louis gave the tattooed man a smile, only to let it fade, quickly remembering he couldn’t see Louis.

“Oh, thank you.”

Louis predicted he felt the obvious hassle become lifted off of him, but wondered if he could feel strangers staring at him?

The boys’ words were directed towards Louis, but his body was faced slightly diagonal, almost like he was conversing with the sky.  Louis gripped his arm, and tried his best to not confuse or scare him but to get his presence to face him. He had no idea was was proper etiquette of getting a blind persons attention. This situation was so foreign to Louis. He was treating him like a wounded puppy, but is clearly self sufficient. 

“Your welcome, I’m Louis.”

His introduction was awkward and absolutely cringeworthy. His words were choppy and slightly out of breath. He stared at the boys’ sunglasses, curiosity burning him up inside to see what was underneath.

“Hello, I’m Harry. Have we met before?”

His voice was raspy and warmed Louis’ skin, despite the bitter wind circling him like a whirlpool. Louis paused before answering, pondering how he ever knew who he was talking to. Voice recognition, maybe, but was he always questioning who he was speaking to? 

“No - well, sort of. I’m the dick who asked you to read something and didn’t care to notice that you’re…” His speech broke off right before Harry nodded and caught him guard. 

“Oh! That? You didn’t hurt my feelings, if that is where you’re going with this. I am fairly used to mean things, but what you said wasn’t one of them. It was a mistake. I know because you’re one of the few people who have actually apologized.” 

Louis felt taken aback, not knowing what to say. His heart ached at what he had probably gone through in his life. Kids are cruel anyways, but add in a factor like _that_ , Louis could only imagine.

“Oh…I just felt gutted at what I said and wanted to apologize to you.”

Harry beamed and radiated so brightly and Louis didn’t want to admit it made his skin sweat underneath his coat. 

“That truly means a lot, thank you again.” 

Louis scanned over Harrys’ entire body for a moment or two. He wore jeans that were _extremely_ tight and boots that looked expensive. His skin glowed with a smile to match, melting Louis to nothing right there. 

Louis never considered he could be attracted to someone who is blind. He had some preconceived stereotype that it wasn’t the “ideal” of beauty, yet he had this boy stood right in front of him, beautiful enough to prove the everyone in the world wrong. 

“Harry, there ya are! Spent ages in that store next door thinking you were in there mate.” Thick Irish accent and pronounced legs made his way to Harry’s side, a grey baseball cap hovering over blue eyes. 

“Sorry Niall, I was going to meet you there. Line inside is insane.” 

Niall registered Louis’ presence and examined him with confusion almost _defensively_. 

“Got somewhere to be, mate?” 

Louis was about to open his mouth with a string of mumbled words to get him out of the situation, but failed and was interrupted. 

“No, this is Louis. I met him inside the store and he helped me, so we started talking.” 

Niall’s expression relaxed and Louis shoulders became more at ease and relaxed at his side. He fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt, an absent minded habit.

Harry asked Louis if he lived in the area and began small talk between the three. Niall and Louis bonded over the fact they went to secondary school together, with Niall continuing to go _on_ about how wild it is and that it is “such a small world.”

“Come full circle, huh?”

He also found out that Niall was a significant part of Harrys’ life. He helped Harry sort of _live_ properly. He drove him places, tried to help him make friends, was his personal trainer, and made Harry feel comfortable since they were seventeen. 

Louis kept feeling like Harry was staring at him, but knew it wasn’t the case, no matter how much he wished it was. Maybe he was trying to assimilate Louis and who we was, what he sounded like, how he carried himself. Louis thought that maybe that is how he had always done it. 

 

After a ten minute conversation about sports teams that Louis didn’t even care much for, he decided that staring at Harry was becoming unhealthy. 

“It was lovely to meet you both, but I have really got to go.” 

Niall pushed himself forward, almost to make himself seem more valiant. 

“You know what, you should come over for our New Years Eve party!” 

Louis’ stomach dropped to his knees and was so overwhelmed. Excitement was more than present in Nialls' voice and made Louis look at Harry’s reaction. His head was fully turned to Niall, comprehending his invitation to Louis, before his own mouth opened.  

“You should! Loads of people come and you can mingle. And you can drink, the alcohol is the best part.” 

Louis bit his tongue from immediately saying ‘yes’ after Harry’s explanation. He would be there if he was, and to be honest it set off exclamation points in his head, making him dizzy.

The alcohol too, though. Maybe he could get drunk enough to kiss this boy he had literally _just_ met and forget about the guilt for the rest of his life. 

“Sure, it sounds like fun.”

 

 

“Hello mum.” 

Louis shut the door quietly behind him, aware it was past four of his siblings bedtime. Jay was sat in front of the couch, resting her head on a throw pillow. 

“Louis sweetie, come sit with me.” 

She patted a spot right next to her and he took his shoes off, and made his way toward her. Immediately her arms wrapped around his small figure, making him truly feel like he was home. 

“How was your day?” 

She spoke softly and stroked his back, causing his eyelids to flutter close. He puffed a long breath, a long exhale he hoped would declutter his mind. 

“Bizarre. Met a couple of nice people. Apple store was a nightmare, I’ll have to call in the morning.” 

A silence surpassed both of them, sleep about to hug Louis until he heard a wet whimper coming from beside him. His eyes opened wide to the sight of his mother sobbing. He sat up, confused and shaken and managed to stutter out a couple of words. 

“Mum? What’s wrong?” 

Her cheeks were shiny with tears and a noise from within her throat. 

“Nothing, you are just so good to us. Just thinking of how much you do for our family. Such a good boy, always have been.” 

She hiccuped and thumbed Louis’ cheek. He half smiled and grabbed a tissue for his mother. His heart felt heavy with love and pang of guilt for making his mum cry. 

“I wouldn’t want to do anything else. You have given me everything I have, mum.” 

This only made her cry harder and he spent the night talking with his mother about New York and even his current love life or lack thereof. She fell asleep soundly on Louis’ chest and her snores woke Louis up around twelve in the morning. 

He slipped past her, covering her with a blanket, and creeping up to his own room. He sat on his childhood bed for a moment, pondering what his life would have been like if he had been born blind. 

What lessons would he have learned and what struggles would he be faced to overcome? 

Would coming out to his family been more painful, not being able to see their reactions? 

How hard would making friends and growing up be? 

Would the concept love be more complicated and difficult to understand than it already is?

Louis felt so overwhelmed with how lucky he is. He couldn’t believe that such a small conversation with a boy who couldn’t see impacted him so much. 

His head was running faster than he could keep up with, becoming loud with questions he had. His skin itched with the image of Harry staring at him, but _not_ staring at him, he was unable to. 

Louis’ world is so focused on himself, he never thought of that potential possibility that Harry lives with _everyday_. 

What he gathered from a brief conversation with a stranger he had _just_ met was that such a beautiful boy didn’t deserve what the world gave him. He was dealt an unfair hand.

 

That night was tossing and turning, mumbling incoherent ramblings all night. That night, Louis cried himself to sleep until his eyes were forced shut. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on making my chapters longer, as I'm used to writing them shorter so please bear with me. NYE party next and maybe even some fluff!! ;)
> 
> Free my babies.


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis thinks about London, his past, and getting stoned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's been a while hasn't it? I started writing this after I published the last chapter but life got hectic and I also got lazier. Sorry for the length, but I didn't want to make it too boring, this is mostly just filler. But here it is, in the flesh. Not really, but it's here nonetheless.

 

It was blue in every sense of the word. Snow fell creating small blue ponds, that Louis’ younger sisters splashed around in leaving the edges of their pants sopping. The flurries soaked into his hands, making his skin a tint of blue. His eyes against the contrast of white all around him, stuck out like a sore thumb. 

 He was blue all over, and inside. His shins bruised with purples and blues from playing too much footie in his backyard. His stomach too full with weeks of binge eating turkey and everything Christmas-y. His heart felt worn and tattered, the term ‘blue’ an understatement. He felt black inside, arms itching from his wool sweater. 

 It was three days before Niall and Harrys’ New Years Eve party that he wasn’t prepared for. He wasn’t ready to handle speaking to Harry, the ache in his heart or becoming lost by his _dimples_ or his _laugh_. 

 He wasn’t ready to stare at him and just want to apologize over and over again. He also wasn’t ready for Niall’s nonstop chatter about derby or _golf_. 

 Who the hell even cares about golf? He _would_ say fuck this party. He would, he definitely would if this wasn’t about Harry or how he would take it. He had just met him, and sympathy was sitting on his shoulder, yelling in his ear, and quite frankly it was giving him a headache.

 He’d had just one huge headache ever since he had come back to London. Which was odd because New York is so much louder, yet he found comfort in the noise much easier. The quietness of London throbbed in Louis’ head and pounded against his skull. 

 He found his stomach upset at all of it. 

 Alcohol never set easily back at home. He doesn’t know if this goes hand in hand with the guilt that has already made a home for itself deep within his bones.

 He _would_ say fuck this party. He would, he definitely would if the thought of Harry’s mouth wasn’t making him feel a bit lightheaded. He hadn’t even seen the boy’s eyes but could just tell that they were beautiful. 

 So was all of him, though. 

 So, after much (or lack thereof) contemplation, Louis deciphers Niall’s number from the half-torn napkin he scribbled it on and called to let him know he would be there. No hesitation or stuttering was obvious through the phone because Niall seemed to be ecstatic. 

 “Right! It will be such a night - and I can hook you up with a lovely lady…friends with loads of them.” 

 Louis doesn’t know if the silence came across to Niall’s side of the line but it was clear on Louis’ and it was underlined and bolded and it made his skin itch. He half laughed along with a bitterness subtle enough to kill. 

 

“Yeah, can’t _wait_.”

 

 

 

“ _Yes, fuck._ ” 

 Louis gripped himself in his palm, stroking gently slightly teasing himself. He bit his lip hard enough to see white and sweated furiously because of the broken AC in his room, despite the snow flurries gathering on his windowsill.

 His strokes became faster, matching his heart beat. He threw his head back, fucking his hips up to his fist. 

 “ _Fuck._ ” He was getting close and he could tell. His stomach fluttered and it overwhelmed all of his senses. He couldn’t help but think of Harry, and his lips. God, his lips could kill him. The thoughts made him feel so much guiltier and made it so much dirtier and made him stroke faster.  

 His fist was now moving faster than he could handle and it was _too much_ and right when he was about to come, his door opened wide scaring the shit out of Louis. 

 “Liam, what the _fuck_!” He loosened his tight grip on his cock to throw a pillow directly at him. He used the other to cover his body with his comforter. His frustration grew along with his cheeks getting wildly red and hot as if he wasn’t enough already. 

 “ _Knocking_! Why is it such a foreign concept to everyone I know?” Liam semi-covered his eyes and waited until he could see Louis had sheets at least on his lower half. 

 “Ha, sorry mate. Saw the key.” Louis huffed and slowly slid down into his bed where the cool sheets skimmed his toes. 

 “What do you need?” He just wanted to close his eyes and rest his head on something soft enough to fall into a long sleep. His privacy was taken away and wanted to fly back to New York as fast as possible.

 “Uh - me and Zayn were wonderin’ if you’d you like to come to his house for a drink? You’re only here for a bit longer…only seen you a couple times mate -.” 

 “Sure, whatever. Get out. I’ll be there in a minute.” 

 As he sat up with a sheet tightly pressed against his waist. he heard Liam mocking Louis’ aggravated tone. His eyes rolled and huffed a breath between his chapped lips. He really didn’t want to go out for drinks. He was still hungover from the night before and didn’t want to be around people. 

 

London made him feel isolated in the place where he should feel most at home and Zayn was one of the last people he wanted to see. He still thinks about a year ago and seeing him standing intimidatingly large by the doorframe while Louis’ hands were in a mans hair that wasn’t Zayn’s. The day before he left for his new life, he put all of Louis’ shit on the doorstep of his parents house and left a fucking post it on top with two words: 

 “ _Fuck you_.”

 Which was fitting for the circumstance. He understood, really, he just didn’t want to confront Zayn because he would have to see the same face that he has drowned too many times with booze. The only thing keeping Louis from shoving himself back in his bed is that he really wanted to get high. 

 Zayn always had weed.

 

Louis guessed he fell asleep in the car because he woke up to the smell of cigarettes and Liam putting his out on his steering wheel. The only obstacle for Louis was putting one foot in front of the other. He missed when all of them would hang out and Zayn would take Louis for drives after midnight when he had a shitty day. That was the only time he let Louis play his own music. 

 “Come on mate, it won’t be bad if you don’t make it that way.” Louis immediately scoffed and knew he was acting six years old but didn’t want confrontation, especially now. When someone opened the front door, it was like a fucking tornado escaped onto Louis’ face making him hopeful that he could at least get buzzed while he was here.

 There were more people here than he expected, which is good so he can lay low without being forced to listen to Zayn ramble about his new lawyer boyfriend or their cocker spaniel they adopted or their fucking fairy lights all over the goddamn place. 

 Louis saw a bong on the diner table right in his pathway, obviously a sign and after fifteen minutes and already high, he heard his voice and felt slightly sick. 

 “Hey, Louis. I guess putting that there was a good idea. Knew it would be the first place you’d go.” 

 Louis bit his lip and sighed long and hard inaudibly. “Zayn, hope you don’t mind. Just making myself comfortable, it’s a beautiful place by the way.” He pulled a chair out for Zayn and then himself. He was going to take a hit of this whether Zayn wanted him to or not. 

 “Thank you, coming from you that means a lot. You know your home decor.” Zayn sounded interested and slightly concerned, probably eyeing Louis’ bags under his eyes. He remembered laying on his bare chest and planning out their house with a big kitchen island and a glass shower big enough to fuck him. 

 “Oh, you know HGTV taught me all I know.” They both chuckled, remembering staying up watching marathons for hours. 

 “Zayn, I’m not here to talk about what happened or even make small talk that you and I both know we don’t care about. We are both adults and know what happened and can move on with our lives. You seem to be doing great and I honestly just want a hit.”

 His eyes flashed with a look Louis never saw before. He felt sick at his stomach and didn’t know if it was because of what he said or last night’s hangover hitting him again. Maybe they _did_ need to talk and Louis was pushing everything away.

 “Okay, have a good night.” He really felt sick now and stood up. He feel guilty, so guilty for what he’s done. He continued repeating, “I pushed everyone away,” under his breath until he felt his face get hot. He saw flashes of the boy he cheated on Zayn with, he saw Zayn’s tattoo against his fingertips. He saw his face he tried so hard to erase and he saw his mother crying on the couch. Then, he saw Harry and his curls and big toothy smile.

 He felt sweaty and knew he had to get out of there. He was too high and too sick. Right before he turned, Zayn said one last thing. 

 

“Oh, and Louis? Don’t smoke all my weed.”

 He bent over and threw up.

 


End file.
